My Solitude

I had walked this path a thousand times. Always following the same well trodden dirt track. And every single time it lead me to the dark clearing in the tree. Where there was nothing but my thoughts, the trees and the babbling brook. This was my own piece of paradise. I could never share this place with anyone else. But as time wore on and the days began to bleed together, I found myself retreating to this sanctuary more and more often. I know they say home is where the heart is, then why was it starting to make me feel so heartless. It was leaving me hollow and left me wanting something more from the world, something more from my life.

It was like a puzzle with a piece that was missing and I couldn’t put my finger on how it got lost but somewhere along this bumpy road. It had been misplaced. Every time I felt life closing in on me. I would chuck a few essentials in a weekend bag, grab my passport and drive to the airport. But when I get there. I just sit in the car, in silence. Watching the planes roar over head. Shaking me all the way down to my soul. But it also left me feeling devoid of any direction. Being in my secret spot made everything seem place and insignificant. I wish I could stay here forever. Away from everything that makes life so complicated.

I needed some clarity and vision to put me back on the right path. I felt that if I didn’t find what I was missing,I would turn to drink which is a dark and unknown path that I didn’t want to take, because I knew I would lose myself forever on that path. As I sat there I began to formulate a plan. A plan of some sort. A five year plan for want of a better word. As all the new pieces slotted into place. It formed a picture that was more clear and better than before. So it was with newfound enthusiasm that I followed the dirt path, round and out into the sunset.


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One thought on “My Solitude”

  1. I love it. I absolutely love it. So full of emotion… you’re so good at descriptions! Reading this I felt that I was right there alongside you. It made me feel a little cold. You are awesome, woman!

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